Who gets to live?

Who has to die?

What is it like playing soccer by the beach, seconds after a bomb goes off, knowing that you’re hurt, but not whether help can get to you in time? What is it like to feel victorious after finding bread, only to have it covered in blood after you’ve been shot? What is it like to be giving birth while the earth trembles from nonstop bombing? What happens when you go to sleep surrounded by four walls and wake up underneath them? What happens next? 

I’m writing this over Labour Day weekend, which coincides with the air show in Toronto. For a week, military fighter jets soar in the sky and all you can hear is broadband noise. This isn’t all for show, but a reminder. Despite stricter gun laws, despite being propped as an example after mass shootings, despite being quote-unquote peaceful, Canada is no different from the US. We just benefit from some scapegoating. Canada, like the US, could only thrive on the destruction of other people. 

I reread Lindsey Fitzharris’ Facemaker recently, which outlines plastic and reconstructive surgery innovations during both World Wars. The before-and-afters are as gruesome as they are impressive: one man-made weapon can rip out part of a soldier’s face and a team of skilled hands (surgeons) can put him back together again. Today, weaponry isn’t as tactical as it once was: technology and innovation have put some distance between a soldier and his violent impulses. He can program a computer or drone to wipe out generations without breaking a sweat. 

The carnage has only gotten worse. For nearly a year, we’ve witnessed the aftermath of drone attacks, bombing, shelling and snipers–not in the news, but on Instagram. Men in Gaza pull corpses out of rubble. They hold each other bleeding and crying. Palestinian women hug and kiss their dead children one last time. I don’t want to describe what bodies look like after a high-tech bomb has been dropped. I’ve seen enough of it. The damage is beyond repair. 

After every mass shooting, there are multiple news stories pointing fingers at the same causes: video games, movies, music videos, mental health problems, whatever else. Everyone is pointing fingers and no one is ever asking the right questions.

What about the countless ongoing wars and genocides? The ones throughout history? Don’t we glorify the military enough? Don’t we teach kids about war in class, forcing them to memorize the details for exams? Don’t we get a day off for Independence Day and Canada Day? Don’t our taxes fund wars and the police? Don’t we equate murder and maiming with freedom and masculinity? How many governments around the world have normalized the killing of children over the last few months? How could that behaviour not be learned when it’s rewarded daily?

This month, I’m revisiting documentaries on Palestine, Gus van Sant’s Elephant, Denis Villeneuve’s Polytechnique and more.